Last week I was was laying in bed and trying to fall asleep… it was late and my mind just could not shut down, no matter how much I tried to relax myself. It had been kind of a rough day… one of those days where everything that has been going on for the past four months was surfacing and my dam that holds all my feelings in, was slowly overflowing.
I began to think of everything that has happened since Christmas… my parent’s separation…still in progress, my past boyfriend coming back in to my life (yes, the one I wrote about in February, yes the one I said I was moving on from, yes it was a crazy situation, don’t judge, please), he is now currently deployed and will not be back for another 4 months, my best friend is transferring to a university quite far away, money problems are becoming worse, and other small things that just add to the flames. It is a mix of different degrees of ‘tough’ situations and wonderful things. This is why I haven’t been posting as frequently as I had hoped… by no means am I begging for sympathy or for you to pity me; I am just simply letting go of some built up emotions. Some may argue that spilling this is too personal, but no one really reads this anyway…. ok I am getting way too sidetracked here.. back to the point:
No matter what I have gone though these past four months or so, I do not have it as bad as others. I know I should not compare my life to everyone else’s life, it is not right, however, it is true. I laid there, almost in tears, thanking God for all that he has provided for me.. All the lessons, all the blessings, all the troubles. I thanked Him for everything my life has been. I gave thanks for the warm bed I was in at that very moment, the pajamas I was wearing, I gave thanks for the opportunity to be where I was. I was grateful for the hardships too, because without those, I would be far more ignorant and less understanding than I am now.
There is so much to be thankful for in this world and I don’t think we all give it enough. When is the last time you thanked someone for just simply being there in your life? I know I don’t do it as much as I should. Everyone needs to be told how much they are appreciated. I know, trying not to take the simple things in life for granted is so difficult, however, taking time here and there to reflect on everything you have is so important. Even things that you don’t have.
I hope this wasn’t too sappy or heavy for you all! Just thought I would share my thoughts. It’s been a cycle of rough and calm waters and I am getting so sea-sick of it. (hah see what I did there?)
Ah, anyway, after that attempt of trying to lighten the post, I will say goodbye.
Thank you so much for reading,